Mars and Pluto supply raw power for enhanced opportunities today. The planets help you cut through red tape and attack matters with decisive action and resourcefulness.
Clearly, I took this to mean that I should write a post in our family blog. Decisive action has never been my strong suit, but with the raw power of Mars and Pluto flowing through me, I will summon the energy to write a short blog entry.
The last time I wrote in our blog, I was just about to start my new job. I'm now starting year 2 of that job, and it's going pretty well. It's not super demanding, it's fairly flexible, I get to work with students, and I have my own office. I also get to take free classes and utilize all the benefits of the university. I can't really complain. Amanda's job is more stressful than mine, but it's also pretty good company to work for. They have a bowling league, too.
The problem I find myself with now is what do I do with my life? Yes, I work full time, but I've never been too eager to define my life by what I do at work. When we were in school, it was easy to defer this question - your only calling is to study, go to class, work occasionally, and fill the rest of the time playing video games, drinking with friends and sleeping. Once that's over (and including any grad school, internships, study abroads, volunteer corps, etc.) and you actually find stable employment, it's easy to think that you're on track. But if you're like me and not a workaholic career-driven individual, you find that your life is no longer on a track. You've left the railroad tracks and now you're just rolling across the open desert in an American Gladiators Atlasphere steel ball - no direction and very little momentum other than what you provide yourself.
What the hell do we do now? We're happily married, I'm actively saving for retirement, and we're not planning to have kids for a few years. It seems like my days are spent in a 50/50 split waffling between a) frantically investigating new life or career opportunities online and b) being completely at peace with my current life situation and seeking out new activities to enrich it: reading, working out, playing music, freaking out about political news, thinking up small business plans (to reduce the need for regular work) etc. Does this ever go away, or is this a constant life deal? It's actually probably unchartered territory, at least in terms of previous generations, because ours was really the first generation to grow up with creative spelling, "everyone's special, unique and wonderful" and "you can do whatever you want in life if you set your mind to it" guidance. With our "limitless" yet guided upbringing, our first steps into the uncharted real world are a tough adjustment. It's just one big game of Atlasphere.
Lately, though, I've been seeking out more things to actively pursue instead of watching TV and freaking out about what to do in the future. Amanda has been helping with this too; it's easier for me to do stuff when I see her working on crafts and printing t-shirts, etc. I'm still taking Swedish at school, and I've been reading books on the bus everyday. I've also decided to try and write more, both in this blog and in another blog I'm starting about how much I hate advertisements. Amanda, as much as she loves me, does not love my constant deconstruction and criticism of TV and internet ads, despite the fact that they're hilarious and thought provoking. Since we don't have kids yet to listen to my stories and learn from them, I'm forced to turn to the great void of the internet to share my opinions. Hopefully I will gather a large following and become an invited speaker at internet events and daytime TV shows.
So that's my update. I hope you've enjoyed it. I will be sure to try to write in here more, and I'll also post the link to my new advertising blog if/when it gets off the ground.
It sounds as if having kids NOW would really solve your problems... no, probably not :) Excellent post, Dan. You sound a lot like people my age. You have excellent design skills; have you checked out freelancing projects on crowdspring.com? See http://www.crowdspring.com/help/faq/what-is-crowdspring/
ReplyDeleteYou're always making funny, sarcastic observations... Tweeting and blogging would be a good outlet!
Great post Dan!
ReplyDeleteI really liked your post, Dan. It made me feel better about not knowing *what* I want to do with my life. :)
ReplyDeleteJust don't end up on the "Doldt on the Couch' segment on the Today Show.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the feedback everyone!
ReplyDeleteSteph - It's good to know other people go through the same kind of thing, but I think it's easy to forget that, too, since it's not really something that people like to talk about too often. I was actually just looking at taking some design/multimedia publishing courses at school this summer. All my skills so far are self-taught, so if I can solidify those, maybe I can pick up some freelance type stuff, or at least make myself more marketable to future jobs.
Sarah - Your blog is one of my motivations to write more in my own. If you can negotiate life in China, write lessons plans, plan a wedding in another continent and still find time to regularly write a blog, I can probably squeeze it in...
Scuttleboose - From everyone I've talked to both currently and formerly in our program (and grad programs in general), this a VERY common feeling. Unfortunately, I don't think it gets talked about enough amongst grad students. I think it's easy to feel bad about not knowing what you want to do, especially when all the "role models" and advisors are successful PhDs who completed the process and really seem to enjoy it. You never get to see the other side - the people who don't feel like it's really for them and go on to other things - so you begin to feel bad for not knowing if you really want to be there. I think a grad student support group/forum/meeting series would be really beneficial for this...you know, during everyone's ample free time.
Anon: I will be very careful to read any contracts from the Today Show.